I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
