so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
