You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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