Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
