There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
