I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
where are my eyebrows?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
