There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
