I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
