yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
