Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
