The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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