i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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