awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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