i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I would ride that face into the sunset
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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