Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
