I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
