I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
