I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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