we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize