No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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