and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
