Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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