Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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