just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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