Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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