I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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