Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
