He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Randomize
