so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize