im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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