im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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