i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
