Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
