your parents love me but you hate me
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
