it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
