I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
