I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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