I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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