Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
