what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
