the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
