porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
