No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
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