Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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