They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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