At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
