i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Randomize
