College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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