i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
the liver wants what the liver wants
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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