I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
