My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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