Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
