I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
