Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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