she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Oh god it's open bar.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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