This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
