dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were trust falling into bushes
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize