Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My penis needs a shock collar
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
