Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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