ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
