one might say we're banned from that church
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
