i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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