it was like eating out sand paper
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Blood and glitter go together right?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
