like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
